








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 347 | 42% |
| Smokes | 194 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 122 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,778 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Air | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | ♿♿ デグレチャフ | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Sneed ⛾⛐ | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Pekka Keihäänheittäjä | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Air | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | ♿♿ デグレチャフ | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Sneed ⛾⛐ | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Pekka Keihäänheittäjä | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pekka Keihäänheittäjä | 5 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | ♿♿ デグレチャフ | 4 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿♿ デグレチャフ | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pekka Keihäänheittäjä | 20 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | Sneed ⛾⛐ | 11 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | | 7 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Air | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Air | +9.37 | 65 | 38 |
| #2 | ♿♿ デグレチャフ | +3.32 | 64 | 44 |
| #3 | | +1.10 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | | -1.75 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Pekka Keihäänheittäjä | -2.84 | 16 | 11 |





