








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 452 | 43% |
| Smokes | 272 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,741 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rowyourmomsboat | 29% | 21 |
| #2 | QuantumLV | 25% | 16 |
| #3 | NeMo | 23% | 30 |
| #4 | K3rmit -_- | 13% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rowyourmomsboat | 29% | 21 |
| #2 | QuantumLV | 25% | 16 |
| #3 | NeMo | 23% | 30 |
| #4 | K3rmit -_- | 13% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rowyourmomsboat | 11 | 0.0271 |
| #2 | NeMo | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | K3rmit -_- | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | QuantumLV | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rowyourmomsboat | 111 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | NeMo | 102 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | K3rmit -_- | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | QuantumLV | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeMo | +0.94 | 59 | 44 |
| #2 | rowyourmomsboat | +0.48 | 61 | 51 |
| #3 | cry | -2.70 | 33 | 43 |
| #4 | QuantumLV | -3.59 | 46 | 49 |
| #5 | K3rmit -_- | -3.66 | 41 | 44 |





