








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2123 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2583 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2555 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2030 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,708 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ancci | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Maisa | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | MinttiDöbö | 55% | 84 |
| #4 | Taikaneekeri | 53% | 130 |
| #5 | Jarskiboi | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taikaneekeri | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Glistus | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | MinttiDöbö | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Maisa | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Bart Simons | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taikaneekeri | 269 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | MinttiDöbö | 238 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Abella Danger | 120 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Williamssi | 88 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | -vege | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maisa | +4.66 | 78 | 41 |
| #2 | Taikaneekeri | +2.92 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | MinttiDöbö | +1.85 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Ancci | +0.94 | 52 | 31 |
| #5 | MyrskyKarhu | -0.22 | 30 | 66 |





