








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 939 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1194 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 921 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,657 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | try2cry_ | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | HeroYT | 51% | 96 |
| #3 | Xudo17 | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | AloisPressluftV3 | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Mort Mogger | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | try2cry_ | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | HeroYT | 51% | 96 |
| #3 | Xudo17 | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | AloisPressluftV3 | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Mort Mogger | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeroYT | 17 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | AloisPressluftV3 | 9 | 0.0201 |
| #3 | Mort Mogger | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Xudo17 | 2 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeroYT | 212 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mort Mogger | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | AloisPressluftV3 | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | try2cry_ | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Xudo17 | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YUT1X | +1.30 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Mort Mogger | +1.29 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | HeroYT | +1.16 | 68 | 50 |
| #4 | AloisPressluftV3 | -1.53 | 84 | 40 |
| #5 | Xudo17 | -4.98 | 28 | 19 |





