








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 534 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 300 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4100 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5527 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5974 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5039 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,625 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyber Bully | 54% | 268 |
| #2 | Gorim | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | DonMq | 51% | 545 |
| #4 | RealKeisari | 49% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyber Bully | 54% | 268 |
| #2 | Gorim | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | DonMq | 51% | 545 |
| #4 | RealKeisari | 49% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonMq | 42 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Cyber Bully | 35 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | RealKeisari | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Gorim | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonMq | 1577 | 0.13 | 33 min |
| #2 | Cyber Bully | 330 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | RealKeisari | 256 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gorim | 149 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldMäster | +3.36 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Cyber Bully | -0.51 | 19 | 67 |
| #3 | DonMq | -0.70 | 41 | 70 |
| #4 | Gorim | -1.92 | 14 | 71 |
| #5 | RealKeisari | -3.63 | 26 | 68 |





