








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2526 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3561 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2198 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3870 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,837 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ALLAHGATORاللهالتمساح | 48% | 136 |
| #5 | PL_MASTER69 | 39% | 99 |
| #6 | lifi | 38% | 48 |
| #7 | Failez | 35% | 62 |
| #8 | my phone is lenovo thinkpad | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALLAHGATORاللهالتمساح | 90 | 0.0349 |
| #2 | PL_MASTER69 | 86 | 0.0467 |
| #3 | lifi | 37 | 0.0408 |
| #4 | my phone is lenovo thinkpad | 31 | 0.0380 |
| #5 | Failez | 24 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | money cash hoes | 200 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | PL_MASTER69 | 185 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ALLAHGATORاللهالتمساح | 151 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | vortex | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | lifi | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |





