








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Esplay | 37 matches | 1,425 | |
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 769 | 30% |
| Smokes | 578 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 650 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 559 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,965 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄᴉᵷᵷᴌᴑᴌ | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | SpeneN | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | HiLLBILLY eINSTEIN! | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Valkyria | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄᴉᵷᵷᴌᴑᴌ | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | SpeneN | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | HiLLBILLY eINSTEIN! | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Valkyria | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeneN | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HiLLBILLY eINSTEIN! | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | SpeneN | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ᴄᴉᵷᵷᴌᴑᴌ | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Valkyria | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HiLLBILLY eINSTEIN! | +2.47 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Valkyria | -0.25 | 55 | 55 |
| #3 | ᴄᴉᵷᵷᴌᴑᴌ | -0.67 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | SpeneN | -0.78 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Zacapa | -1.29 | 51 | 58 |





