








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3380 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2844 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2438 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2643 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,157 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Näki | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Terminator | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | ĐⱤɆ₳₥Ɏ ĐɆ₳₮Ⱨ | 45% | 358 |
| #4 | JaConKit | 45% | 194 |
| #5 | Zuckerwatte ♡ | 43% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Näki | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Terminator | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | ĐⱤɆ₳₥Ɏ ĐɆ₳₮Ⱨ | 45% | 358 |
| #4 | JaConKit | 45% | 194 |
| #5 | Zuckerwatte ♡ | 43% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaConKit | 21 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Zuckerwatte ♡ | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ĐⱤɆ₳₥Ɏ ĐɆ₳₮Ⱨ | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Terminator | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Näki | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ĐⱤɆ₳₥Ɏ ĐɆ₳₮Ⱨ | 716 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | Näki | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | JaConKit | 76 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Terminator | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zuckerwatte ♡ | 14 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terminator | +5.18 | 95 | 43 |
| #2 | Yellowbanana | +1.68 | 75 | 44 |
| #3 | JaConKit | +1.59 | 81 | 23 |
| #4 | Zuckerwatte ♡ | -1.99 | 78 | 20 |
| #5 | ĐⱤɆ₳₥Ɏ ĐɆ₳₮Ⱨ | -2.40 | 39 | 42 |





