










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
47 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $15,100 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | A Moped | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | A Moped | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 9 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #2 | A Moped | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Moped | -0.26 | 19 | 63 |
| #2 | JawlessPanda | -0.27 | 51 | 69 |
| #3 | Bigjet | -4.24 | 10 | 16 |





