










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 28% |
| Smokes | 646 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 626 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1093 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,780 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albus Doubledoor | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | soDeep | 67% | 57 |
| #3 | sh1be | 52% | 183 |
| #4 | sky str1ker kagari | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 48% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sky str1ker kagari | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 48% | 159 |
| #6 | sun tzuwu | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | fuckoff csgocases_com | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | csgocases_com road to nova | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0NESIU | 32 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | sh1be | 22 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | soDeep | 9 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | csgocases_com road to nova | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | sky str1ker kagari | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sh1be | 1005 | 0.28 | 19 min |
| #2 | soDeep | 394 | 0.35 | 10 min |
| #3 | m0NESIU | 351 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Albus Doubledoor | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | csgocases_com road to nova | 77 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albus Doubledoor | +5.54 | 48 | 71 |
| #2 | fuckoff csgocases_com | +3.70 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | soDeep | +3.60 | 88 | 76 |
| #4 | sh1be | +3.55 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | sun tzuwu | +0.99 | 29 | 49 |





