








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 962 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9792 | 18% |
| Smokes | 14186 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 13594 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 15400 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,100,724 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ягода хорош | 47% | 663 |
| #7 | eρı¢ | 45% | 388 |
| #8 | hennyxx | 45% | 191 |
| #9 | Blacky | 43% | 113 |
| #10 | Flashbert | 43% | 185 |





