








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
74 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 12% |
| Smokes | 31 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 45 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 50 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $12,544 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aang | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Kaiser Wurzer | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | c0rn | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Donatello | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | AVQRR | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aang | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Kaiser Wurzer | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | c0rn | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Donatello | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | AVQRR | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donatello | 16 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | AVQRR | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Kaiser Wurzer | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | c0rn | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiser Wurzer | +6.96 | 73 | 32 |
| #2 | Donatello | +5.27 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | c0rn | -1.67 | 59 | 29 |
| #4 | Drain | -3.90 | 23 | 30 |
| #5 | AVQRR | -4.66 | 31 | 56 |





