








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7471 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10815 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5044 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7757 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,739,641 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil CheeseAndCrackers | 73% | 90 |
| #2 | Sack Chaser | 66% | 147 |
| #3 | DaFrigginPope | 63% | 221 |
| #4 | grezzla | 61% | 180 |
| #5 | ment@l | 59% | 451 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sack Chaser | 66% | 147 |
| #3 | DaFrigginPope | 63% | 221 |
| #4 | grezzla | 61% | 180 |
| #5 | ment@l | 59% | 451 |
| #6 | Gorlami | 59% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ment@l | 26 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Evil CheeseAndCrackers | 23 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Sack Chaser | 22 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | DaFrigginPope | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Gorlami | 12 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ment@l | 1950 | 0.22 | 47 min |
| #2 | DaFrigginPope | 510 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Gorlami | 180 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | grezzla | 169 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Evil CheeseAndCrackers | 100 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaFrigginPope | +3.17 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | STEVE | +2.21 | 50 | 54 |
| #3 | ment@l | +2.00 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | Sack Chaser | -0.04 | 28 | 24 |
| #5 | Evil CheeseAndCrackers | -0.07 | 45 | 36 |





