








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3970 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4521 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5048 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4065 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,102,935 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JupaJapuMudraMadre | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | nikkie | 52% | 63 |
| #3 | Cursedox | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | § | 50% | 104 |
| #5 | Ronkeli | 50% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cursedox | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | § | 50% | 104 |
| #5 | Ronkeli | 50% | 161 |
| #6 | sadistimoke | 48% | 89 |
| #7 | Luumu | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronkeli | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | § | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | sadistimoke | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Cursedox | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | nikkie | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cursedox | 403 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #2 | nikkie | 290 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Ronkeli | 249 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | sadistimoke | 215 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | § | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | § | +3.52 | 59 | 60 |
| #2 | nikkie | +2.93 | 72 | 80 |
| #3 | sadistimoke | +2.00 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | Luumu | -0.11 | 42 | 57 |
| #5 | Ronkeli | -0.80 | 27 | 66 |





