








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5285 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5361 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5476 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6018 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,674 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magallaes | 54% | 115 |
| #2 | Jonhy_Noob | 53% | 165 |
| #3 | KxmTheGoatSKINS | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | M0.0rais | 49% | 104 |
| #5 | Careca Machista | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magallaes | 54% | 115 |
| #2 | Jonhy_Noob | 53% | 165 |
| #3 | KxmTheGoatSKINS | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | M0.0rais | 49% | 104 |
| #5 | Careca Machista | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KxmTheGoatSKINS | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Jonhy_Noob | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | M0.0rais | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Magallaes | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Careca Machista | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magallaes | 478 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jonhy_Noob | 270 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | KxmTheGoatSKINS | 204 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | M0.0rais | 202 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Careca Machista | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magallaes | +3.60 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | Careca Machista | +2.61 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | KxmTheGoatSKINS | +1.50 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | M0.0rais | +0.31 | 45 | 52 |
| #5 | Jonhy_Noob | -0.33 | 41 | 54 |





