








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
65 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 63 | 34% |
| Smokes | 54 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 26 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 42 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,657 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanton | 0% | 2 |
| #2 | Al Capone CSGOSKINS | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | Noname | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | El Pablo Macutas Posampas | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanton | 0% | 2 |
| #2 | Al Capone CSGOSKINS | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | Noname | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | El Pablo Macutas Posampas | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pablo Macutas Posampas | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | Al Capone CSGOSKINS | 4 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | Noname | 4 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kanton | 4 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | -0.25 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | jim | -2.44 | 35 | 43 |
| #3 | Al Capone CSGOSKINS | -5.53 | 28 | 57 |
| #4 | Kanton | -7.26 | 73 | 33 |
| #5 | El Pablo Macutas Posampas | -7.97 | 7 | 49 |





