








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1356 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1494 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1289 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,283 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tekteq | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Terk | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | zaubi | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Reverb | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | FisheR | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Utschmuu ✪ | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Vancapo1337 | 50% | 32 |
| #11 | Vancapo | 46% | 76 |
| #12 | [WLS] Schafii | 44% | 27 |
| #13 | martin | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CW | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Rookie | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | FisheR | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Reverb | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Vancapo1337 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FisheR | 295 | 0.33 | 9 min |
| #2 | Terk | 132 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rookie | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Vancapo | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | CW | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vancapo1337 | +3.57 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | CW | +3.08 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | FisheR | +1.79 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | Terk | +1.31 | 61 | 72 |
| #5 | zaubi | +1.10 | 26 | 51 |





