








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Wingman | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1807 | 10% |
| Smokes | 5570 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4306 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5866 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,745,469 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | støjberg | 55% | 127 |
| #2 | NoSmoke | 53% | 128 |
| #3 | DKyafn99 | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | Stjernholm | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Hulle | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | støjberg | 55% | 127 |
| #2 | NoSmoke | 53% | 128 |
| #3 | DKyafn99 | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | Stjernholm | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Hulle | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | støjberg | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Stjernholm | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | NoSmoke | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Hulle | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | DKyafn99 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulle | 235 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Stjernholm | 147 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | støjberg | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | NoSmoke | 123 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | DKyafn99 | 50 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulle | +3.30 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | NoSmoke | +3.09 | 59 | 49 |
| #3 | støjberg | +0.49 | 51 | 37 |
| #4 | Stjernholm | -0.22 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | DKyafn99 | -0.87 | 56 | 43 |





