








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1504 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 956 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1346 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,335 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CryHard | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | nazB1T | 59% | 78 |
| #3 | Tapipoca | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Sh0.0T | 53% | 106 |
| #5 | PCE | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nazB1T | 59% | 78 |
| #3 | Tapipoca | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Sh0.0T | 53% | 106 |
| #5 | PCE | 44% | 48 |
| #6 | Sidnei__19 | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh0.0T | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh0.0T | 394 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | nazB1T | 361 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | PCE | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sidnei__19 | 120 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tapipoca | 81 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markstman | +0.97 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | PCE | +0.71 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | nazB1T | +0.32 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | Tapipoca | +0.20 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | Sh0.0T | -0.06 | 53 | 60 |





