








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3423 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4303 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2733 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,201 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aesopin | 53% | 370 |
| #2 | BunzandGunz | 52% | 75 |
| #3 | Tornen420 | 51% | 119 |
| #4 | rexrexrex | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | penibob | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aesopin | 53% | 370 |
| #2 | BunzandGunz | 52% | 75 |
| #3 | Tornen420 | 51% | 119 |
| #4 | rexrexrex | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | penibob | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aesopin | 18 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | rexrexrex | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | BunzandGunz | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Tornen420 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aesopin | 696 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #2 | Tornen420 | 187 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | BunzandGunz | 140 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | penibob | 84 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | rexrexrex | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azure AD | +2.42 | 80 | 49 |
| #2 | penibob | +0.03 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | Aesopin | -0.01 | 49 | 48 |
| #4 | BunzandGunz | -0.95 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Tornen420 | -1.03 | 62 | 65 |





