








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2770 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1762 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2136 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1920 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,046 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lµr | 48% | 96 |
| #6 | Makaking | 46% | 78 |
| #7 | Lurihell | 42% | 57 |
| #8 | Lazurro | 40% | 92 |
| #9 | frank | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lµr | 23 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | MECHARDO | 13 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | lisa dura | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Lazurro | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Makaking | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lisa dura | 461 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | MECHARDO | 283 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | lµr | 262 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lazurro | 179 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lurihell | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frn | +2.42 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | lisa dura | +1.21 | 52 | 51 |
| #3 | MECHARDO | +0.44 | 31 | 65 |
| #4 | lµr | +0.29 | 37 | 42 |
| #5 | frank | -1.70 | 26 | 39 |





