








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 968 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1071 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1377 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1516 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,202 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪L | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | cyd1cal | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Mur0c | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | -m4 | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | jkP | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sawave | 50% | 28 |
| #11 | feltz | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | TQ | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | Jokusomali? | 40% | 15 |
| #14 | Teuvvo<3 | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TQ | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | miqu | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | jkP | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Jokusomali? | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Teuvvo<3 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miqu | 224 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | cyd1cal | 91 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | snäikler | 73 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪L | 56 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sawave | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kotrmelec- | +2.01 | 64 | 56 |
| #2 | miqu | +1.91 | 78 | 79 |
| #3 | Sawave | +1.89 | 96 | 58 |
| #4 | cyd1cal | +1.26 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | jkP | +1.20 | 63 | 52 |





