










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,919 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wieenN | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Bellvis92 | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Rafaé | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Kat | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | Capo | 66% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tory | 64% | 22 |
| #7 | ANa | 58% | 24 |
| #8 | makazze | 57% | 7 |
| #9 | krabeni | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | zAAz | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | 7 | 0.0361 |
| #2 | Rafaé | 2 | 0.0667 |
| #3 | Kat | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Bellvis92 | 1 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANa | 122 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | tory | 101 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kat | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Capo | 31 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | krabeni | 29 | 1.53 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makazze | +3.58 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | wieenN | +2.26 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | ANa | +2.17 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | krabeni | +1.87 | 90 | 72 |
| #5 | twenty3 | +1.82 | 73 | 65 |





