








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 31% |
| Smokes | 75 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 63 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 53 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,750 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swade | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Doodle | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | gaysimpson4fan | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Bole | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swade | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Doodle | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | gaysimpson4fan | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Bole | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doodle | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | Swade | 2 | 0.0313 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doodle | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | Bole | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | gaysimpson4fan | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Swade | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneMapleLeaf | +3.93 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | gaysimpson4fan | +3.00 | 72 | 28 |
| #3 | Bole | +0.94 | 25 | 9 |
| #4 | Doodle | -0.68 | 68 | 12 |
| #5 | Swade | -8.72 | 56 | 12 |





