








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1809 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1312 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 775 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,340 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nia | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | agartha soldier | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | A Paranoid Schizophrenic | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | N4i | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nia | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | agartha soldier | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | A Paranoid Schizophrenic | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | N4i | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | agartha soldier | 5 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | A Paranoid Schizophrenic | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | N4i | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N4i | 244 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nia | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | agartha soldier | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | A Paranoid Schizophrenic | 22 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nia | +6.36 | 97 | 57 |
| #2 | agartha soldier | +3.62 | 93 | 28 |
| #3 | N4i | +3.29 | 93 | 65 |
| #4 | thonk | +0.15 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | A Paranoid Schizophrenic | -0.39 | 79 | 37 |





