








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1999 | 43% |
| Smokes | 617 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1493 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,147 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 20 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Potato Salad | 15 | 0.0206 |
| #3 | Leo | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Shade | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | momeater08 | 7 | 0.0081 |





