








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 759 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3156 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5388 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4408 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3924 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,293,148 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Still down | 50% | 125 |
| #4 | Cheppi , Mr.MP7 | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | δΉεε°ΊγδΈε | 47% | 75 |
| #6 | THCxPanther | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | Massami | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π£πΆπ! | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Massami | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | THCxPanther | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Still down | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Cheppi , Mr.MP7 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π£πΆπ! | 800 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | δΉεε°ΊγδΈε | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Massami | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | THCxPanther | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Still down | 57 | 0.02 | 1 min |





