










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2666 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 943 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1769 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,251 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 908 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiKiLL0 | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Pyro | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | 1999-- | 5 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | idk | 4 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Santii =D | 3 | 0.0021 |





