








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1219 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1215 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 946 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 774 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,685 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jameson artemelius | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Ironic | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | robert | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Jarleo | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | hsmd | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | robert | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Jarleo | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | hsmd | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | repkotaz | 40% | 50 |
| #7 | aikO | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jameson artemelius | 12 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | repkotaz | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Jarleo | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | robert | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | aikO | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jameson artemelius | 154 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | robert | 142 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | repkotaz | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ironic | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jarleo | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hsmd | +8.49 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | jameson artemelius | +3.22 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | robert | +1.47 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | Ironic | -0.55 | 27 | 39 |
| #5 | Jumped In Dirt | -0.73 | 32 | 69 |





