








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Renown | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 963 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3035 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2879 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3588 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,353 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ROfessori | 59% | 101 |
| #8 | Eversti | 59% | 63 |
| #9 | Beethoven | 48% | 62 |
| #10 | Moykkis | 46% | 26 |
| #11 | Kekkonen | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROfessori | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Nyrkkipyykki | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Eversti | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Kekkonen | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Beethoven | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyrkkipyykki | 661 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Eversti | 237 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Beethoven | 236 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ponton | 210 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | oonsara | 116 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tansu | +1.82 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | Kekkonen | +0.80 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Ponton | +0.42 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | ROfessori | +0.25 | 62 | 53 |
| #5 | 🪑☭ ♿butin | +0.25 | 58 | 61 |





