








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2998 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2569 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 537 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1607 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,981 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poubig | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Mercer | 77% | 108 |
| #3 | Wah | 77% | 60 |
| #4 | SILENCE | 76% | 59 |
| #5 | Ambrosia | 75% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Ash1ey | 67% | 15 |
| #13 | Daniel Negreanu | 67% | 24 |
| #14 | kenny | 66% | 29 |
| #15 | HaDesLeMon | 64% | 28 |
| #16 | henry111 | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | he1b | 36 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Mercer | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | SILENCE | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | firez | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | God K | 8 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SILENCE | 415 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| #2 | he1b | 353 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | firez | 273 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ambrosia | 263 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mercer | 242 | 0.11 | 7 min |





