








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2782 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2834 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3703 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,442,433 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Misery | 93% | 61 |
| #2 | adjust | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | volty | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Xay | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | JC SWAGGER | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Xay | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | JC SWAGGER | 52% | 63 |
| #6 | Booyame | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | F r☻︎g | 38% | 34 |
| #8 | Dino | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dino | 14 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | adjust | 8 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | JC SWAGGER | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Misery | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | F r☻︎g | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JC SWAGGER | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Booyame | 108 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | F r☻︎g | 104 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dino | 79 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | volty | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Misery | +14.77 | 100 | 36 |
| #2 | JC SWAGGER | +1.73 | 55 | 56 |
| #3 | adjust | +1.23 | 80 | 26 |
| #4 | Xay | +0.75 | 52 | 58 |
| #5 | Trev | +0.51 | 65 | 45 |





