








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2463 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2482 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2314 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,939,230 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluffpeen | 54% | 155 |
| #2 | Juan of the Sand | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluffpeen | 54% | 155 |
| #2 | Juan of the Sand | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluffpeen | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Juan of the Sand | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluffpeen | 679 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | Juan of the Sand | 222 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluffpeen | +0.86 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Juan of the Sand | +0.34 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | Living Lewd (def not a virgin) | -0.19 | 66 | 52 |





