








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7140 | 42% |
| Smokes | 4316 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3964 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1643 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,947 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big $tand Ova Frm64th | 51% | 166 |
| #2 | Lookhowibeatonnanigga | 47% | 203 |
| #3 | code | 44% | 86 |
| #4 | Hoot | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big $tand Ova Frm64th | 51% | 166 |
| #2 | Lookhowibeatonnanigga | 47% | 203 |
| #3 | code | 44% | 86 |
| #4 | Hoot | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big $tand Ova Frm64th | 33 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Lookhowibeatonnanigga | 24 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | code | 19 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Hoot | 5 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big $tand Ova Frm64th | 370 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lookhowibeatonnanigga | 135 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | code | 103 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hoot | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tequila Mockingbird | +2.96 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | Big $tand Ova Frm64th | -0.18 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Hoot | -1.66 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | code | -2.02 | 39 | 53 |
| #5 | Lookhowibeatonnanigga | -2.69 | 52 | 37 |





