








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 590 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4944 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3926 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3925 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4141 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,966 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zysiek | 73% | 55 |
| #2 | Zgred [幸福] | 58% | 106 |
| #3 | EKATU | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | $alomon | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | Kulens | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zysiek | 73% | 55 |
| #2 | Zgred [幸福] | 58% | 106 |
| #3 | EKATU | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | $alomon | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | Kulens | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zysiek | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | $alomon | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Zgred [幸福] | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | EKATU | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $alomon | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | EKATU | 139 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | zysiek | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zgred [幸福] | 92 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kulens | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zysiek | +2.73 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | 桜 | +2.11 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | $alomon | +0.22 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Kulens | -0.14 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | Zgred [幸福] | -0.36 | 70 | 52 |





