










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 10% |
| Smokes | 568 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1057 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,523 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minsq | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Freaky | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | mpaprika | 45% | 40 |
| #4 | markus | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | sHIMO | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sHIMO | 9 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Freaky | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | markus | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Ronik | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | NIP3X | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | sHIMO | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ronik | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | MarjanPoimija | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | markus | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minsq | +4.74 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | sHIMO | +3.58 | 58 | 38 |
| #3 | NIP3X | +2.02 | 69 | 31 |
| #4 | Freaky | +0.62 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | markus | -0.46 | 25 | 15 |





