








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
46 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 43% |
| Smokes | 15 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 32 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,300 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henriksson | 33% | 6 |
| #2 | Hugoboda | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | Toad | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | JOLTARN | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henriksson | 33% | 6 |
| #2 | Hugoboda | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | Toad | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | JOLTARN | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugoboda | 4 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | Toad | 2 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | JOLTARN | 1 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugoboda | 28 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | JOLTARN | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Toad | 6 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Henriksson | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henriksson | +2.05 | 59 | 6 |
| #2 | Hugoboda | -1.69 | 48 | 38 |
| #3 | Toad | -1.77 | 18 | 13 |
| #4 | JOLTARN | -1.77 | 49 | 23 |
| #5 | ollepolle3000 | -2.74 | 29 | 42 |





