








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 967 | 34% |
| Smokes | 857 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 635 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,675 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | m1shu | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | tHirakaN | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | bruccu | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | swiiry | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | labadabadoo | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MLD N.W.A | 3 | 0.0390 |
| #2 | swiiry | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | g4RY- | 1 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swiiry | 115 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | labadabadoo | 98 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | m1shu | 38 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | ;slayer | 31 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | bruccu | 28 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g4RY- | +5.67 | 92 | 44 |
| #2 | ;slayer | +3.62 | 91 | 77 |
| #3 | MLD N.W.A | +2.77 | 72 | 24 |
| #4 | labadabadoo | +2.14 | 93 | 59 |
| #5 | 神 | +1.53 | 74 | 63 |





