








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 52% |
| Smokes | 99 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 104 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,752 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ><>< | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Элтомик | 71% | 59 |
| #3 | Šörínèlů🐊 | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | hxa | 25% | 8 |
| #5 | MIMIC | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ><>< | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Элтомик | 71% | 59 |
| #3 | Šörínèlů🐊 | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | hxa | 25% | 8 |
| #5 | MIMIC | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Элтомик | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | hxa | 7 | 0.0470 |
| #3 | ><>< | 5 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Šörínèlů🐊 | 2 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Элтомик | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | ><>< | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Šörínèlů🐊 | 46 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | hxa | 26 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | MIMIC | 9 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Элтомик | +10.27 | 98 | 37 |
| #2 | hxa | +4.94 | 75 | 46 |
| #3 | ><>< | +0.59 | 71 | 42 |
| #4 | Šörínèlů🐊 | -0.88 | 49 | 30 |
| #5 | Micutzo Cecuray | -2.03 | 45 | 26 |





