








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 322 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3673 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3732 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3467 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3775 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,795,375 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NILSSON1 | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | Scanaker | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | Mellis | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Terexen | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | poopickeR^^ | 54% | 68 |





