










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1307 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2931 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2357 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2476 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,205,239 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 50% | 182 | |
| #2 | Don Uli | 46% | 311 |
| #3 | beef soup | 40% | 43 |
| #4 | 29% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 50% | 182 | |
| #2 | Don Uli | 46% | 311 |
| #3 | beef soup | 40% | 43 |
| #4 | 29% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Uli | 34 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | 15 | 0.0039 | |
| #3 | 14 | 0.0111 | |
| #4 | beef soup | 10 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Uli | 1212 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #2 | 526 | 0.14 | 14 min | |
| #3 | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min | |
| #4 | beef soup | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Uli | +3.49 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | +0.59 | 66 | 60 | |
| #3 | Slendi | -1.32 | 55 | 39 |
| #4 | -3.55 | 54 | 27 | |
| #5 | beef soup | -4.51 | 33 | 27 |





