








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 7% |
| Smokes | 197 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1532 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 1038 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,225 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 737 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shr1mpz | 37% | 142 |
| #2 | dmg | 33% | 12 |
| #3 | coke and fries halo | 31% | 13 |
| #4 | Useless Dave | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shr1mpz | 37% | 142 |
| #2 | dmg | 33% | 12 |
| #3 | coke and fries halo | 31% | 13 |
| #4 | Useless Dave | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shr1mpz | 35 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | coke and fries halo | 4 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | dmg | 4 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shr1mpz | 35 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #2 | dmg | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | coke and fries halo | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coke and fries halo | +3.33 | 44 | 22 |
| #2 | shr1mpz | +1.95 | 44 | 31 |
| #3 | dmg | -3.55 | 6 | 28 |
| #4 | DragonTail624 | -3.79 | 50 | 30 |
| #5 | Useless Dave | -7.00 | 7 | 14 |





