








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1632 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1861 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1739 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,059 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nuke | 50% | 132 |
| #4 | deutsche Dönermann | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | shiraito22 | 44% | 111 |
| #6 | Freiherr von Bubatz | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | Pr1v4te | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shiraito22 | 38 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | jem | 27 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | deutsche Dönermann | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | nuke | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Freiherr von Bubatz | 4 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jem | 547 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | shiraito22 | 281 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | nuke | 175 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | deutsche Dönermann | 82 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pr1v4te | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke | +2.86 | 46 | 49 |
| #2 | Freiherr von Bubatz | +2.16 | 73 | 41 |
| #3 | deutsche Dönermann | +0.82 | 37 | 31 |
| #4 | shiraito22 | -0.98 | 15 | 51 |
| #5 | Pr1v4te | -1.08 | 52 | 50 |





