








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 477 matches | ||
| Wingman | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6047 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6181 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6857 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5405 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,267,850 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1000 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʕᵒᴥᵒʔvetle | 59% | 134 |
| #2 | Meuts1 | 53% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʕᵒᴥᵒʔvetle | 59% | 134 |
| #2 | Meuts1 | 53% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʕᵒᴥᵒʔvetle | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Meuts1 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʕᵒᴥᵒʔvetle | 271 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Meuts1 | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irjan | +1.20 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | ʕᵒᴥᵒʔvetle | +0.43 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Meuts1 | -0.01 | 82 | 52 |





