








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 917 | 33% |
| Smokes | 955 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,371 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arppa | 81% | 52 |
| #2 | Jonetzki | 80% | 113 |
| #3 | JariSaloPEEK Window licker | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arppa | 81% | 52 |
| #2 | Jonetzki | 80% | 113 |
| #3 | JariSaloPEEK Window licker | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonetzki | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | JariSaloPEEK Window licker | 11 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | arppa | 7 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonetzki | 408 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | arppa | 105 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | JariSaloPEEK Window licker | 73 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonetzki | +6.50 | 97 | 53 |
| #2 | Lape | +4.66 | 84 | 37 |
| #3 | arppa | +2.51 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | JariSaloPEEK Window licker | -4.59 | 13 | 26 |





