








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6426 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5504 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5099 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3962 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,258 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACHILLES | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | BillCosbysRag | 54% | 230 |
| #3 | goose | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | Novalis | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | rxis | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACHILLES | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | BillCosbysRag | 54% | 230 |
| #3 | goose | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | Novalis | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | rxis | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillCosbysRag | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | goose | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Novalis | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | rxis | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ACHILLES | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillCosbysRag | 306 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | goose | 236 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Novalis | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | rxis | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ACHILLES | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novalis | +1.15 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | BillCosbysRag | +0.64 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | TRUCK MONTH | +0.55 | 74 | 77 |
| #4 | goose | -0.90 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | ACHILLES | -2.76 | 43 | 67 |





