








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 820 | 25% |
| Smokes | 737 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 823 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,447 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungcancer | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | tjockis | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | nAvelStRängEN | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Valorant Demon | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | FLYGARN | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tjockis | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | nAvelStRängEN | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Valorant Demon | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | FLYGARN | 42% | 45 |
| #6 | Braxen | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjockis | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Pungcancer | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | nAvelStRängEN | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | FLYGARN | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungcancer | 186 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | FLYGARN | 160 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | tjockis | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Valorant Demon | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | nAvelStRängEN | 28 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungcancer | +5.31 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | Valorant Demon | +2.37 | 97 | 73 |
| #3 | FLYGARN | -0.20 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | SereneSonder | -0.33 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | nAvelStRängEN | -0.45 | 62 | 70 |





