








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7233 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5175 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4554 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3592 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,639 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knOWN* | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Mogelbaum | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | GΛБΓłΞŁ † | 59% | 61 |
| #4 | Noname | 56% | 89 |
| #5 | Spitzkopf Larry | 55% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fajos | 953 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | Ramesh | 694 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kane | 357 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | GΛБΓłΞŁ † | 241 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Spitzkopf Larry | 210 | 0.11 | 6 min |





