








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1723 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1660 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,705,467 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuckwit | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Fried Tenders | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | Redmonkey | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | AH_ItsBOO | 51% | 136 |
| #5 | Kex | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Redmonkey | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | AH_ItsBOO | 51% | 136 |
| #5 | Kex | 51% | 134 |
| #6 | ImDossa | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | ✪KolTic | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kex | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | AH_ItsBOO | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Fuckwit | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | ✪KolTic | 6 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | Fried Tenders | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AH_ItsBOO | 363 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kex | 238 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Fried Tenders | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fuckwit | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Redmonkey | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪KolTic | +4.75 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | Kex | +2.12 | 75 | 40 |
| #3 | PUMPMYFLUMP | +1.82 | 70 | 39 |
| #4 | ImDossa | +1.60 | 46 | 56 |
| #5 | Fried Tenders | -0.60 | 38 | 58 |





