










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1166 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1041 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $939,617 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Noname | 43% | 40 |
| #7 | Ponsse | 41% | 82 |
| #8 | Ronik | 41% | 69 |
| #9 | sHIMO | 40% | 113 |
| #10 | savi | 27% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky | 30 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | sHIMO | 15 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Ronik | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Noname | 9 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | savi | 7 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky | 262 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | sHIMO | 249 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ronik | 243 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Noname | 142 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ponsse | 139 | 0.09 | 2 min |





